Wrote this yesterday evening on my moms MacBook:
The last blog-entry ended quite abrupt. I had some prewritten parts on an USB device and when I had the chance to get the stuff online, I needed to hurry since my parents were waiting.
We went to the lake afterwards, ate something at a neat italian restaurant and watched Slumdog Millionaire in the local cinema. I remember that someone wrote in a forum that it would be ‘Forest Gump in indish’ and yeah… that fits quite well. Though I didn’t like the way it ended. If you’re scared of spoilers, skip reading till the next paragraph.
I’m not a fan of happy endings. Or more clearly: it shouldn’t have ended the way it did. I’m not sure how the best ending would have looked like, though winning lots of money and getting together with the girl he loved, was just to Hollywood (even when it was Bollywood in this case). I even thought he’d answer the last question with “Latika”, though I’m not yet sure if that would have been better or even worse.
Anyway, I think it’s still worth watching (and was definatly the best movie available in the cinema at that time) though don’t have to high expectations.
We’re having really nice weather here at the moment and although my parents are complaining that it would be to warm (usually, it’s my part to complain about this), I think it’s still ok. We drove two hours to Rapperswil in Swizzerland to meet with a friend of mine who’s now living there. During the car ride (and in every free minute since I picked the book out of the flat’s shelve), I’m reading Orwell’s 1984. I’m a slow reader and half through the book by now. It was on my to-read list for quite some time and I’m discovering that it really was worth putting there. I’ve been a fan of ‘Brave New World’ ever since I read it in middle-school and this one reads like a spin-off. Before you start arguing: No, I dunno which book came first and I’m not connected to the internet to check. I wonder how people survived without Google and Wikipedia back in the days. Though no matter which one was first, they’re both great books (so far).
It just took the first few pages to stumble upon the first quote of a Rage Against The Machine song. Or… the other way around. To stumble upon the first part that RATM quoted in a song. In ‘Testify’, Zack is singing a part with “Who controls the past now, controls the future. Who controls the present now, controls the past.”
I had a feeling what he was singing about though the part in the book showed me that I never really got it. The story of the book takes place in a world which is completely controled by the government. Everyone might be a spy and almost on any corner is some kind of camera (even in private rooms). The government fakes newspaper articles, re-writes books, poems, songs,.. all to fit their propaganda. The interesting part is, that they are even faking newspaper articles which were written years ago. They’re consequently re-writing the past, adding lies and removing all evidence which would be able to proof the difference. Once all evidence is removed and once no one is alive anymore who’s able to tell that the written stuff is a lie, it will become truth for everyone reading it. It becomes history. They are controling the presence, rewriting the past and therefor controling the future since they are able to backup their lies with history books. They’re able to show that the government was always right in the past and can justify and protect their power. It’s frightening. And it’s what Zack sang or RAGEed about in the song.
I love it to discover the sources of quotes which were somehow stuck in my mind. The last time that happened was with a quote of a movie which was used in a song by “…But Alive”. Don’t ask me how the movie was called… I wrote it down somewhere. The quote was something like (trying to translate):
‘Woman’s voice’: Would you like to come upstairs and drink some coffee?
‘Man’s voice’: I don’t drink coffee.
Woman’s voice’: I don’t have any…
I love the song. It’s about courage or better: It’s about the lack of courage. I don’t know how the guy in the movie reacts to this quite unexpected reply (I really need to watch it). I tried to imagine how I would react (especially since I don’t drink any coffee either ^^) though it obviously differs, depending on the one who’s inviting and even then it’s still quite surreal and blurry. It kept me thinking, kept me living in my head like I do quite often. The nice thing about this short holiday trip here isn’t the lake, nor the weather, nor even my parents. It’s actually that I took time for myself, without thinking about myself. Sounds odd, tho it isn’t. My holidays are the time to read another book and to dive into the imaginations of someone elses mind. So it’s not so much a physical holiday by changing the place where I’m at, it’s much more of a mental holiday by moving away from my own thoughts. Relaxing.
I wrote in the last blog that I wouldn’t know what I’d be supposed to do here. I’m happy about beeing here now, without the internet to distract me from my distraction.
There was also something else which came to my mind. It’s that the focus of this website shifted far away from it’s original purpose when I launched it many many years ago. The first version of this page really deserved it’s name (Seelenstrip.com – which means something like “Soul-Striptease.com”, exposing thoughts on various topics). I’m still exposing thoughts on topics though it turned quite shallow. I noticed it earlier though never wrote it down so clearly. Maybe I’ll let it move back to it’s original purpose.

I mentioned the car-ride to Rapperswil before I got sidetracked with the 1984 part. It was nice to see Alex again and he showed us his new hometown. It looks like a place where many people would like to go to holidays. He’s living next to the Lake Zurich, they got swimming areas, a zoo, some nice old-town… He’s happy down there and I guess that’s the most important part. Though it made me somehow sad that he’s so happy while beeing so far away from his old friends. His work and carreer seems to be really important for him at the moment and he seems to be successful at what he’s doing, though according to what he said, he hasn’t found new friends down there. And his old friends are all hundrets of Kilometers away and it doesn’t seem to be much of a burden to him.
Maybe the shocking part isn’t so much his life, but that it mirrored a part of my own and exposed it to myself. I’m also living hundrets of Kilometers away from most of my friends and not caring much about that fact.
You might ask something like: “So what’s your point?”
I don’t know… If it’s good or bad or if it matters at all. I think I just needed to mention it in order to get it out of my head.
I actually wanted to write more, though I think I’ll better continue reading now. Wrote this all on my mom’s MacBook and will carry it with me on USB until I can publish it tomorrow night when I’m at home again. Though I’ll most probably write some follow up on why I’m able to be shoked about 1984 where everyone is monitored/traced and still exposing my life in the internet via blog, twitter, lastFM and co. Sounds kinda shizo.
But nite for now.